Twenty five years after giving her son up for adoption, Loni Atwood and Hayden Tupper reunited on a Parksville beach
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As the tide rolled in on Parksville’s Rathtrevor Beach last weekend, Loni Atwood wrapped her arms around her son Hayden Tupper’s 6-foot-2 frame.
“Hi buddy, I’ve been waiting a long time to see you again,” said Atwood, 43, holding him tightly.
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The last time she held him was 25 years ago when he was two days old.
Atwood, 18, had just given birth to the eight-pound, 11-ounce boy at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Comox.
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The delivery room on July 22, 1998 was filled with Atwood’s boyfriend, her mother, grandmother, her best friend and the Maple Ridge couple — Heidi and Andy Mathison — who would adopt and raise Hayden.
Born and raised in Campbell River, Atwood was in her final year of high school when she got pregnant with her then-boyfriend, Ben. Because they had only been together a few months and with Atwood’s dreams of travelling Canada with her horse to compete in show jumping, the couple decided to put the baby up for adoption.
When Atwood met Heidi and Andy, she instinctively knew they were the right match.
“I knew that at a young age, I knew they could provide a life that I wouldn’t be able to,” Atwood said.
Hayden’s was an open adoption and he was told about his biological mother.
Atwood, who was building her career as an equestrian coach, received letters and photos of Hayden during the holidays and around his birthday.
But after three years, the letters stopped. Atwood didn’t know why, but it was around the time that Andy was diagnosed with colon cancer.
Andy died on Dec. 2, 2002 at age 46.
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It was Atwood’s own struggle with cancer that led to a reunion that Hayden called “a Christmas miracle.”
Postmedia shared Atwood’s cancer story on Dec. 6. She spoke out about feeling forgotten by the cancer care system and her belief that delays in starting preventive chemotherapy for a rare form of adrenal cortical carcinoma allowed tumours to spread throughout her lungs.
That morning in her Maple Ridge home, Heidi opened The Vancouver Sun and immediately recognized Atwood’s smiling face on the front page. She also noticed a resemblance between Hayden and Atwood’s sons, Garrett, 19 and Brandon, 16.
Heidi rushed upstairs to share the news with her second husband, Mark, who adopted Hayden at age six after Andy’s death.
Mark, who had lost his first wife to cancer, told Hayden they had found his biological mother and she was battling cancer.
“Once (Hayden) digested everything, it was a very emotional day,” Heidi said.
Atwood’s sister, Kim Hart, delivered the news that Hayden wanted to meet.
“It was the most wonderful news. I couldn’t believe it,” Atwood said.
On the afternoon of Dec. 6, Atwood heard Hayden’s voice on the phone. She learned he works at an auto parts business and is engaged to the love of his life, Danika.
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“He’s so lovely,” she said shortly after the call.
“He said he had the best childhood. And I knew that. I knew that the minute I met his mom, Heidi.”
Atwood told him: “There’s so much love for you on this side of the ocean. You’ve never been forgotten about.”
Heidi and Mark knew Hayden was curious about meeting his biological mother, especially after a Grade 12 school project where he shared his adoption story. Hayden told Postmedia that after he got engaged in February, his desire to meet Atwood grew. He didn’t know where to start and he only had her maiden name, Loni Jennings.
Atwood had been looking for Hayden, too.
Over the last decade, she would search Facebook for Hayden Mathison, not knowing he took Mark’s last name, Tupper, when Heidi remarried.
“Not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about him,” Atwood said.
The story of how Heidi found Atwood all those years ago was equally serendipitous.
In 1990, after five years of marriage and building their life in Maple Ridge, Heidi and Andy began trying to have a baby. Years passed and Heidi suffered a miscarriage and an unsuccessful round of in vitro fertilization. By March 1998, they began to consider adoption.
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As Mother’s Day approached, Heidi and Andy booked a weekend away in Campbell River to distract from the difficulties they had conceiving.
Heidi dropped Andy off for a round of golf and browsed some shops at the Ironwood Mall.
She passed a hair salon, A Cut Above, and decided “on a whim” to get a haircut. The salon owner, Carol Chapman, asked Heidi what brought her to the North Island town. Heidi told her about her trouble getting pregnant and desire to adopt.
Carol said: “This may sound crazy, but my daughter’s girlfriend is pregnant and I think she’s going to give the baby up for adoption,” Heidi recalled.
Carol gave Heidi’s contact information to Atwood’s mom, Deanna, and within days, they connected over the phone.
“I felt like I knew her,” Heidi said. “We had a really good connection.”
Heidi wrote a letter to Atwood, including photos of her and Andy and describing their life together and longing to be parents.
Atwood made her feelings clear in a return letter: “Can you adopt me, too?” Heidi recalls.
On Father’s Day weekend, with Atwood weeks away from her due date, Heidi and Andy arranged to travel from Maple Ridge to Campbell River. They met Atwood and her boyfriend Ben at the Comox Valley Showgrounds, where Atwood spent much of her teen years training with her horse.
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“At one point in the conversation (Atwood) said to me: ‘I feel like this is your baby,’ ” Heidi said, choking up at the memory.
Heidi remembers being in the packed delivery room and crying when the doctor announced the baby was a boy.
“The umbilical cord was cut and Hayden was wrapped up and placed in my arms,” Heidi said. “I was the first one to hold him. I’ll never forget this incredible gesture from Loni. She will always and forever be my angel.”
Over the next two days in hospital, Atwood said her goodbyes to Hayden.
“I trusted my decision,” she said. “I was happy for their family.”
After the phone call with Hayden, Atwood told her sons, Garrett and Brandon, that they have a half-brother.
Both were thrilled. Garrett joked that he would need time to accept being bumped from oldest to middle child.
And so on Dec. 17, an overcast but unseasonably mild day, Atwood, Hayden and Heidi met on Rathtrevor Beach to catch up on the last 25 years. Atwood was joined by her sons, her sister, Kim, and her two children.
The group spent three hours at a pub afterward, with Atwood flipping through stacks of photo albums as Heidi and Hayden recounted family holidays, camping trips and baseball seasons.
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“Everything you could possibly dream of for a family, they did it. They travelled, they camped, they skied. You can tell he was just so loved,” Atwood said. “It’s brought me some peace and some closure that everything worked out the way I thought it would.”
Having gained a new family, Hayden is now planning future trips with Garrett and Brandon and more visits with Atwood.
“The things I’ve been wondering throughout my life, now I know,” Hayden said. “The way it turned out was just perfect.”
kderosa@postmedia.com
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